I agree but for that kind of money people relate to their host.It sounds to me like you have completely unrealistic expectations for your host. It is their job to take care of your server, keep it online, apply security patches, perhaps install 3rd party software (managed hosting), etc. It is NOT their job to manage your forum.
You obviously don't understand how the usernames work for XF, etc. That isn't their responsibility. What's next? Do you want them to moderate your forum for you too, and start participating and making posts? YOU need to learn how to manage your forum. YOU need to learn how to take care of the users, spam, etc. YOU need to take responsibility for your site, and if you don't know the absolute basics, you shouldn't be running your own forum. Hire some moderators or such to take care of this for you. That's not what your host is supposed to be doing.
As far as backups, it happens. I've seen it many times. Backups only copy what is on the main server, and if the files on the main server became corrupt, were damaged, etc., the backup just isn't going to work. That's why if you truly care about your data, you need to have multiple backups, not just what your host provides.
Today the motherboard of my server i broken so my forum is again for several hours out.
I'm not saying they are not good at Nimbus but i have not reached so many downtimes since ever.
Maybe it's just my bad luck.