Today i found granddad dead :(
- Thread starter Nudaii
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EQnoble
Well-known member
Seeing a dead body for the first time can be rough and seeing a family member in that state can be quite traumatic and I am sorry that you had to experience that and am truly sorry for your losses.Today i found grandad dead in his house, he was ill yesterday so i went to check on him early, he had fallen down the stairs during the night and died
I'd never seen a dead body before, and never expected my grandad to be the first
I loved him more than words can say.
funny how small things seem, that yesterday seemed so important
The fact that you are here is sign enough that you are strong and your gramps would be proud of you for keeping it moving. I just lost my last grandparent the day before new years and I had to say good bye to her from skype when she couldn't even comprehend what was going on. I beat myself up because I was going to go to florida to see her 3-4 months ago and with work I couldn't make it down there and then got canned 3 weeks later so I missed seeing her for the last time for no reason at all. It was really hard on me and I still catch some feelings over the choice I made but realistically I know her and what she would be saying to me. It would go something like this...
Assamattafoyou Andony, you need to makeada happy fo youself an donna worriabouta you nonna. You gotta makeada memory mattah more fo you. You thinkada bad youa gunna staya still ahn seeada bad so thinkada good and make a smile.
Translation from her broken italio-english:
Whats the matter with you Anthony, you need to do what you need to do with yourself to be happy and don't worry about your grandmother. You need to make the good memories matter more to you than anything bad can or you will only see the negative so think of all the good memories and the good future the lessons of those memories have and will bring you. If you think of the times you smiled, you will smile now.
Moral of that story is don't think of this morning when you think of him, start your walk down memory lane from yesterday when you were watching tv and spending quality family time with him. I am sure your grandfather would be thinking the same thing. I didn't intend to get this wordy about it but figured I would share with you my recent experience since you probably feel right now like I felt a couple months ago and through that I empathize with your grief.
Cherish the good times.
Grover
Well-known member
Ditto.
Really sorry for your loss, Richard...
While I didn't go through the same situation, I did lose both my mom and dad (and pets/belongings) in a house fire in 2002. While I didn't see my mom (they wouldn't let me, it was that bad) I was able to see my Dad at the hospital and it was my first time seeing a lifeless body.
The whole world seems like a really different place rather suddenly, but you learn to integrate it in time.
My thoughts are with you today, brother.
While I didn't go through the same situation, I did lose both my mom and dad (and pets/belongings) in a house fire in 2002. While I didn't see my mom (they wouldn't let me, it was that bad) I was able to see my Dad at the hospital and it was my first time seeing a lifeless body.
The whole world seems like a really different place rather suddenly, but you learn to integrate it in time.
My thoughts are with you today, brother.
Morgain
Well-known member
Richard it sounds like he had another stroke and fell. That would have been a quick and easy death.
Much better than being stuck with tubes an drugs in hospital.
The blood was either a cut to the head or hands - hands fling out as one falls. Both head and hands can splash a startling amount of blood from a mere scratch.
People look odd when they are dead. The personality is largely gone so the strength holding the shape of the face and body goes. What's left is a soft doll, a bit smaller than in life.
The image of him lying there will stay with you for quite a while.
Also you will feel regret for things not done - a visit, an errand, a treat postponed. Too late. There is always "If only ... " stuff which we have to go through.
But eventually nature is kind. The memories that stay longer term will be the happier ones. What you had with him is now part of you. Also he is genetically part of you. So you now carry him in you into the future.
Beliefs about what is happening to him are different of course. Socrates the wise Greek philosopher, facing death and knowing it, said that he had nothing to fear, because it was either like going into endless sleep - and there is nothing to fear in sleep. Or else he looked forward to meeting fascinating people who had lived in other times and places.
It is very common to receive contact from someone who has died shortly after they die. A sense of their presence perhaps, or an inner conversation which is very real. About 2/3 of us do.
Most people talk to the dead person in a natural way whether or not they sense a presence.
Expect to feel very tired indeed over the next few weeks. Death is exhausting to those staying on here. Look after your health. Sleep and eat carefully, do not overwork. Do not take on any project you do not need to - live quietly in honour of your grandpa.
Because you will now be vulnerable to infections with a lowered immune system. Echinacea 1,000mg - 2,000mg a day is a good reliable boost to immunity and a very safe herb. (I buy it from Lifeplan online because my immune system is not great.)
Much better than being stuck with tubes an drugs in hospital.
The blood was either a cut to the head or hands - hands fling out as one falls. Both head and hands can splash a startling amount of blood from a mere scratch.
People look odd when they are dead. The personality is largely gone so the strength holding the shape of the face and body goes. What's left is a soft doll, a bit smaller than in life.
The image of him lying there will stay with you for quite a while.
Also you will feel regret for things not done - a visit, an errand, a treat postponed. Too late. There is always "If only ... " stuff which we have to go through.
But eventually nature is kind. The memories that stay longer term will be the happier ones. What you had with him is now part of you. Also he is genetically part of you. So you now carry him in you into the future.
Beliefs about what is happening to him are different of course. Socrates the wise Greek philosopher, facing death and knowing it, said that he had nothing to fear, because it was either like going into endless sleep - and there is nothing to fear in sleep. Or else he looked forward to meeting fascinating people who had lived in other times and places.
It is very common to receive contact from someone who has died shortly after they die. A sense of their presence perhaps, or an inner conversation which is very real. About 2/3 of us do.
Most people talk to the dead person in a natural way whether or not they sense a presence.
Expect to feel very tired indeed over the next few weeks. Death is exhausting to those staying on here. Look after your health. Sleep and eat carefully, do not overwork. Do not take on any project you do not need to - live quietly in honour of your grandpa.
Because you will now be vulnerable to infections with a lowered immune system. Echinacea 1,000mg - 2,000mg a day is a good reliable boost to immunity and a very safe herb. (I buy it from Lifeplan online because my immune system is not great.)
Brandon Sheley
Well-known member
So sorry to hear 
Kim
Well-known member
Richard,
So sorry to hear of your loss and that you had to find him like that, I am sure it was very traumatic for you. I like many have said, try to put that image out of you mind and remember him how he was yesterday, and all those lovely days you spent together before.
Feeling for you.
So sorry to hear of your loss and that you had to find him like that, I am sure it was very traumatic for you. I like many have said, try to put that image out of you mind and remember him how he was yesterday, and all those lovely days you spent together before.
Feeling for you.
Pope Viper
Well-known member
I'm sorry for your loss
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