Member wants me to delete thread.

[Alvin63]

Wonder if it's the same person that was annoying you on your forum @Alvin63 ?
If it is permaban them.

Thanks all. No it’s not the same member . Although it is one that cheated in a competition recently and got disqualified. I maybe should have explained more. It’s a pet forum. The member rarely posts but had an ongoing thread about the pet then the pet died. This happens. Nobody usually wants to delete the whole thread (and some are very long). It just stays where it is and isn’t posted on any more.

They posted on the thread they were going to delete it because they found it upsetting to see their photos on there (pet died due to owner mistake). Then realised they couldn’t and PM’d me to say they wanted the thread deleting. I said I could close the thread to further replies and if not posted on it would just be on the forum but not coming up in the what’s new list.

They messaged again asking to have it deleted and I replied I’d closed the thread to further replies but we don’t delete threads. And saying sorry for their loss obviously. So a sensitive topic but still didn’t want to delete the thread. It’s the nature of the forum. Pets die and people grieve and start new threads.

 

[Alvin63]

Doesn't mean those members are the same ones...
Seems he may have issues with several of his members... or may be somewhat intolerant of what "normal" behavior is.

It’s true I have had one or two difficult members on one forum. None at all on my other forum which is older. So I wouldn’t say it was intolerance on my part - just the forum topics are very different.

 

[Alvin63]

I have read it. The same approach applies.

My oldest forum is from 1997 with over 11k users and over a million posts. We use a very "laid back" (light handed) approach to moderation, which is well received. The opposite approach will spread negatively like an infection, and turn people away. (perception of a power hungry dictatorship) For the most part, the community is self policing with peer pressure from others. Everyone just behaves

It has been years since we had to ban someone, and I think we have probably banned 3-4 members in 26 years. (legitimate cases of hate/gay bashing, seller fraud, etc) There hasnt been a warning issued in over 10 years. If someone gets out of hand otherwise, we privately remind them of our community standards and quote the agreed upon policies to them.

Everyone has their own style, but that is ours.

Thanks for the tips. What would you do in this situation?

 

[Suzanne O]

Thanks all. No it’s not the same member . Although it is one that cheated in a competition recently and got disqualified. I maybe should have explained more. It’s a pet forum. The member rarely posts but had an ongoing thread about the pet then the pet died. This happens. Nobody usually wants to delete the whole thread (and some are very long). It just stays where it is and isn’t posted on any more.

They posted on the thread they were going to delete it because they found it upsetting to see their photos on there (pet died due to owner mistake). Then realised they couldn’t and PM’d me to say they wanted the thread deleting. I said I could close the thread to further replies and if not posted on it would just be on the forum but not coming up in the what’s new list.

They messaged again asking to have it deleted and I replied I’d closed the thread to further replies but we don’t delete threads. And saying sorry for their loss obviously. So a sensitive topic but still didn’t want to delete the thread. It’s the nature of the forum. Pets die and people grieve and start new threads.

Maybe have a recycle system in your hidden part of forum. Where all threads that are closed can go. Usually put that in the staff lounge but as a closed thread board.

 

[Alvin63]

That is an idea yes. So it’s not visible but not deleted. Is there any other way to just make it invisible? I don’t particularly want to set a precedent though.

 

[TPerry]

The scenario given is hard for many pet owners... especially for those that may have been associated with those furry family members for a decade or more and then lose them (one of our hardest was Skipper, who was with us for almost 20 years, which is"forever" in dog years).
There is really not an easy answer... in the "here and now" that fur baby parent probably wants to avoid the "bad feelings" of the loss of the furry family member currently... but I can almost guarantee you if the thread has topics of "remembrance" in them, that fur parent will appreciate them in the future.
I know personally (we've been parents of furbies for over 4 decades) it's REALLY hard to deal with losing them and seeing anything that brings them back to our thought for awhile... but eventually we get past that point and rejoice in the remembrances of the love and caring we shared with them when we were blessed with them.

Skipper was about 16 in this photo... the very last photo I have of him is laying on the vet table wrapped in his favorite blanket after we had to assist him across the Rainbow Bridge.

 

[Mr Lucky]

So it’s not visible but not deleted. Is there any other way to just make it invisible?

I don't see the point. Either the thread is useful on your forum or it isn't. If it isn't then delete it, if it is useful e.g. attacks visitors and engagement) then why make it invisible?

 

[Alvin63]

The scenario given is hard for many pet owners... especially for those that may have been associated with those furry family members for a decade or more and then lose them (one of our hardest was Skipper, who was with us for almost 20 years, which is"forever" in dog years).
There is really not an easy answer... in the "here and now" that fur baby parent probably wants to avoid the "bad feelings" of the loss of the furry family member currently... but I can almost guarantee you if the thread has topics of "remembrance" in them, that fur parent will appreciate them in the future.
I know personally (we've been parents of furbies for over 4 decades) it's REALLY hard to deal with losing them and seeing anything that brings them back to our thought for awhile... but eventually we get past that point and rejoice in the remembrances of the love and caring we shared with them when we were blessed with them.

Skipper was about 16 in this photo... the very last photo I have of him is laying on the vet table wrapped in his favorite blanket after we had to assist him across the Rainbow Bridge.

View attachment 287495

I agree with all of that and I did say that to the member - that in future they may like to see those memories again - which is another reason we don’t delete them. Your dog had a good life and yes it is really hard. It’s a big theme on the forum and there’s a memorial section. Had a few pets die myself. Not an easy time.

 

[Alvin63]

I don't see the point. Either the thread is useful on your forum or it isn't. If it isn't then delete it, if it is useful e.g. attacks visitors and engagement) then why make it invisible?

Good point, thanks. The threads are useful - people share tips on them.

 

[Mr Lucky]

Good point, thanks. The threads are useful - people share tips on them.

In which case keep out. If the OP doesn't want to see it, then that can be achieved via an ignore content addon such as this:

Ignore Content

Take control of your experience: ignore forums, threads, tags, conversations, and users with ease. Ignore Forums Allows users to ignore specific forums and hide their content. Ignored forums will not appear in view. Ignore Threads Lets users...

xenforo.com

 

[Suzanne O]

Close the thread put it in a hidden section and start a new thread with a part two at the end of it.

 

[FTL]

@Tracy Perry yeah, +1 on that, been there several times now and it's hard as hell. What a lovely dog, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Starbucks]

Are they asking this via email or on the forum?
if it's on the forum ban them for 3 days for being disruptive.
if it's via email explain to them that they will cop infractions and bans until they learn to shut their mouth.

Kim? Is that you? Are we really suggesting him to turn his forum into a lil North Korea?

 

[zappaDPJ]

Now that we know more about the nature of the thread, a polite ask for it to be deleted would not be such an unreasonable request, especially if the thread is dominated by content from that member.

One thing I would add, there are few good reasons to delete any content unless it concerns PII or material that would be considered illegal in a court of law. It's better, as has been suggested, to move it to a 'dump box' visible only to staff members.