XF 1.4 Host says my database is too big.

We have been getting intermittent "unexpected database errors" since about April 23rd on our forum. Each time we get an error the status of our database says it had been restarted. At least 10 times in as many days. We are also experiencing long load times and jumbled displays when the page does load. (Both desktop and mobile.) After going back and forth with Dreamhost, I received this message today:

"I am so sorry you are having trouble with your MySQL server! Although the
server was restarted recently, that was only part of the issue. Looking
at the size of your database (3GB +), it is actually becoming too large
for shared hosting. If you continue to host your database on a shared
MySQL server, the performance is going to continue to degrade. Either you
try to optimize the database (contact Xenforo for assistance), or
consider upgrading to a MySQL VPS. I honestly recommend reducing the size
of the database, as the issue, like I said, will get worse over time."

Unfortunately, we've not had good experience with their tech support and I'm not convinced they aren't just trying to pass off what is their problem on to us. But I'm afraid my knowledge level on a lot of the server management is novice at best.

Is there some optimization I can do to see if this actually does help the issue?
 
You need a better host, they are just singing you the you need to upgrade song...

Though 3GB is some what large, it should be fine. We have clients with 8GB+ databases and 5 million posts hosted on our enterprise shared hosting platform.
 
It's not just the size of the database which determines whether you have outgrown shared hosting, but also the activity/traffic.

If their shared hosting solution is geared towards smaller sites though, essentially you're going to have to move to something more suitable.
 
Switch hosts. I had problems in the past and bounced around. I ended up going with @MattW and things have been smooth sailing since. I am glad to be away from big companies and with someone that actually knows what hes doing. Check him out.
 
Thank you everyone for the insight.

We purged a large archive of old threads, which freed up about 1 GB. It has helped somewhat. Our traffic is actually at the lowest point it can be for the entire year because the tv show we cover on the forum had its finale in March, so there is no way our traffic or activity is excessive in comparison to what it is in October when the show starts. Posts have been extremely light since then so there's something more going on.

I'm going to check out the three hosting solutions mentioned here in this thread and make a switch. I feel like we're simply getting pushed into Dreamhost's new products at every new growth spurt. Plus they aren't very Xenforo friendly.
 
At over 2gb database, 200k+ posts, and average 350 users online we decided to switch from enterprise shared hosting to managed VPS. It's running a lot better.
 
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