What do to in the first date with a girl?

Hell, I don't know. When I was in school text was setting type in print shop and neither text nor friend had verb forms. And we still had print shop, wood shop, metal shop and auto shop as actual required courses.
 
My best 2 tips...

1. No movies. Pick somewhere that you can go to talk. And have it picked out ahead of time. You want to avoid the "I don't know, what do you want to do?" discussion. You think it's being considerate but women see it as... (see #2)
2. Be confident. Most "nice guys" complain that women want jerks. For women who have abandonment or daddy issues or who have been sexually abused this may be true. But what most women really want, and what most "nice guys" think of as a jerk, is someone who is confident.
 
Actually, I rather liked it when the guy had the date all planned out, i.e. restaurant, or get take-out and go to the park, or just out for drinks, etc.
 
Fred Sherman said:
I'll give you a serious answer.

First and foremost, when you go to pick this girl up, out of respect for her and her parents, you walk up to the front door looking presentable, and knock on the door. Nothing pissed me off more than a boy who who pick one of my daughters up by calling her cell phone from the curb. And don't ever consider the horn either.

You shake her father's hand and you call him sir. Trust me on that one. You ask what time she needs to be home and you giver her parents YOUR cell number. As you leave, you tell them it was a pleasure meeting them. You walk the girl to the car and open the door for her. Parents are still watching. Do all this and you have weathered the first hurdle.

Take the young lady out to dinner. Choose someplace quiet, but not expensive. You aren't trying to impress her, you're trying to make an impression based on who you really are. Quiet is good and gives you an atmosphere to talk. Conversation should be 50/50. You want to learn about her and give her a chance to learn about you. Its sort of like a job interview. You're both trying to see if this is a good match. An added tip: review the menu of the restaraunt online so you have a good idea of cost. Not every waking moment needs to be filled with conversation, but avoid awkward silences too.

Dinner and a movie might be the cliche, but its also a bad first date idea. You don't get to interact during a movie and you lose each other in the story of the movie. Some type of activity works better. I used to take my dates out to minature golf. No one is good at it, so no one feels outdone. Its low pressure fun. Just avoid two things: don't play hard to try to beat her and don't tank on purpose. Either are bad form and says more about you than you know.

During the summer, when the days are longer, an early dinner and horseback riding worked good too. You have to match the season and what you have available.

Finish up with a trip to the ice cream shop (they still have those right, or I'm going to look really old). A milkshake and a sundae are a good end.

I'll assume she is a proper young lady and has a curfew. Make sure you get her home with time to spare. Nothing sours the first date more than her freaking out about the possibility of being late. Once, my car got a flat tire on the way back 30 minutes before my date had to be home. I had time to call her father (actually, my father called hers - CB radio, before cell phones) with our location so he could either pick her up or at least be aware we'd be late. Plan for the unexpected.

When you take her home, walk her up to the front door. You job is not complete until she is safely in that house. If her parents are home, wonderful. If not, my rule was simple. I stayed by the front door until she would turn on the outside light to let me know everything was okay.

Now you have to be wondering about that goodnight kiss, AKA the most awkward moment in dating. Want the best solution? Don't do it. Why end a date with awkwardness? Why ruin several hours of a good time with 5 minutes of confusion or mixed signals.

I will tell you what a guy who dated my youngest daughter did on her first date that she still talks about. During the evening, he let her know that he doesn't kiss on the first date. Its not a prudish thing, its simple respect because he should know that it is welcomed before trying. What he said is if she decided on a second date, he'd giver her a hello kiss instead, so the decision was completely in her control.

And for goodness sake, if you say you're going to call her, do it. Never lie about that. Even if all you do is call to say all you want is to be friends, that it didn't work out quite like you'd hoped.

And the most important advice? If any of the women posting her disagree with anything I've said, listen to them. They're women and I'm a guy which means I know nothing about women. Besides, I haven't had a first date in myself in almost 30 years. Although I have seen plenty thanks to two daughters who luckily took after their mothers.

There you go - a serious answer full of fatherly advice.
Click to expand...

Hands down an amazing post! Forgot to include pay for everything and don't like the lady pay for a thing.
 
fattony69 said:
Hands down an amazing post! Forgot to include pay for everything and don't like the lady pay for a thing.
Click to expand...

It never even occurred to me that I would need to give that advice! I would think that's a given, but I guess not!

He should remember there is only one of three possible outcomes of a first date:

1. Still interested in each other, more dates to follow. Good outcome.
2. Not interested in each other, end of the road. Handled with class, stilla good outcome. May have at least made a good friend.
3. One interested, other not. If you are the one who is still interested, do not allow your disappointment to lead to poor behavior. Just accept it for what it is and move on. If you are the uninterested party, you owe it to her to le her know, without being hurtful or resorting to cliches. Word of advice...I met my wife through a someone where it didn't work out, but still maintained a friendship. Never burn bridges.

There is a fourth and rare outcome. I remember a girl from high school named Sarah. She was pretty, fun and very smart. We had alot of common interests. Seemed like there was something there. Never went past the first date. The reason? Her parents.

I am a devout Catholic and Sarah was a conservative Jew. Didn't matter to us, be it was a big deal to her parents who forbid her to see me again. As much as that hurt, I had to respect it. That stands out as my toughest rejection.

Good luck and you must report back on your success.
 
Still say it depends on the girl ... I mean your gonna get some who will think its great that you walked to the door, called their parents sir etc, however others are just gonna think your an ass. Plus to me this kinda gets away from the fact of being yourself. If I'm gonna speak to someones parents, I will speak as myself. I do however agree on the 'must' of speaking to them.

PS: yes I do have a daughter lol
 
Marc said:
Still say it depends on the girl ... I mean your gonna get some who will think its great that you walked to the door, called their parents sir etc, however others are just gonna think your an ass. Plus to me this kinda gets away from the fact of being yourself. If I'm gonna speak to someones parents, I will speak as myself. I do however agree on the 'must' of speaking to them.

PS: yes I do have a daughter lol
Click to expand...

My response to that would be rudeness and poor manners are a choice, not a personality. Respecting social conventions doesn't change who we are.

Eventually we all get to the point where we fart in the bed and tell our wife its a Texas barking spider. That doesn't mean you let one rip in the car on the first date, right? Manners, not personality.
 
Okay don't lead off the conversation with either of the following:

Fast or slow moving zombies?

Who would win between Spiderman and Darth Vader?
 
Peggy said:
I'm sure you've realized by this time that he didn't tell you the whole truth................ right?????
Click to expand...

I do now, but I have to give him the benefit of the doubt. He married my sainted Irish grandmother (complete with her Irish temper) so its possible he thought he was telling me the truth.
 
Jo. said:
People say chivalry is dead... personally, I like it when guys prove those people wrong...
Click to expand...

Not dead, just on life support waiting for some metrosexual to pull the plug.

I still believe in the guy paying, holding the door, getting her chair and standing when she comes to the table.

Equality is a good thing when it is equality of opportunity and equality of dignity as a human person, but treating a lady like one of the guys isn't equality.
 

Similar threads

X
Unphrased date-time due to race condition in front-end javascript
Replies
0
Views
154
Xon
X
R
XF 2.2 Allow one picture in the first post?
Replies
0
Views
119
Robert9
R
securedme
  • Question Question
XF 2.2 Can I show actual post date in the first post with custom thread field even after bumping?
Replies
7
Views
339
Mr Lucky
Mr Lucky
NHUN
  • Question Question
XF 2.2 How to handle attachment in a new forum?
Replies
10
Views
385
Opus X
Opus X
R
  • Suggestion Suggestion
Posts in threads and conversations
Replies
1
Views
149
CedricV
CedricV
Top Bottom