Ok well my hosting provider was looking at it , applied their fix , and saying it is a xenforo issue, they are also saying now and I quote...
'It may be necessary to consult the developer of the application for further assistance. Unfortunately there are not a lot of meaningful errors being logged anywhere, so it's really unclear what specifically is causing the Internal Server Errors at the moment. Please let us know how you would like to proceed'
I don't think it is a xf issue and think whatever was done to my servers configuration was and is the problem.
So I think I am just going to shut down my server, I don't need this stress, hate being lied to, don't stand for being played and can't afford my hosting as it is...if it doesn't work I can't rationalize paying someone as much as I do for my server. If they are going to try and bs me after giving them this much credit for so long and paying out of pocket pretty much knowing already that I was not going to recoup costs, and doing without so I could host peoples stuff for free while providing myself a live playground.
I have sacrificed too much to by keeping my server up over the past three years and this makes me sick to my stomach...I should note that I did nothing through this whole process, they did the upgrading, they broke it and blamed xenforo. All I did was open a ticket and specify what I wanted done.
Now I am just done.