Thank you very much for your thoughts Anthony!
This is actually what I was thinking, but you are right it is difficult to start off with a small site this way. But I still prefer quality over quantity.......
Its a chicken and egg situation though, most people I know tend to look at a forum's stats before they sign up. How busy is it, how many members does it have. Then if you start to ask for paypal / card details / cell/mobile numbers its going to put people off.
What may be an alternative is to have a 2nd tier of account that they get promoted to if they prove their ID. That way people on the site can see if a user is on this 2nd tier of membership and know that they can be trusted slightly more than someone who's just a general member.
Afterall, if they're serious, they will want to confirm their ID and get promoted, but it won't turn them off from joining the forum in the first place.
Just one point though, confirming a phone number doesn't mean that they're not a scammer though, not when you can pickup a sim these days for pence and without a contract - all it proves is that they have a mobile phone, nothing more.
PayPal is better, but its only of use if a) they have a PayPal account and b) if it has a confirmed postal address in it.
Confirming ID online is a bit of a nightmare really, unless you're something like a bank that can confirm offline information as well as online (e.g. Utility statement). As ideal as it sounds, I can't see people sending in scans of their passports to you.
In the UK you could use a Credit Card payment gateway to authorise a payment using the card holders' address details - at least this would confirm their address. But obviously, even this isn't foolproof, not to mention an expensive solution.
Good luck anyway