Ferryman, installing a theme is part and parcel of every software. Some use a zip file (SM), others upload it in one lump (phpBB) but if you want your own logo, etc, you still have to edit the paths on those or upload an image in the right section.
Styling and handling styles at the basic level is far easier in XF than in vB. You could simply use the color pallet and just use the original style with color changes. But you still have to upload your own logo.
I'm sorry you find this difficult. I hope you find someone to help.
Liz