I need help finding a mail service or programmer who understands xenforo's mail settings. I was using Mandrill without problems but never made full use of xenforo's bounce settings. I moved servers recently and my forum's mail is all screwed up. My host has good support and is willing to try setting my mail up for xenforo but can't make any guarantees.
Is there a host or mail service that I can set up for xenforo (bounce settings) straight out of the box? Is there a programmer good with this?
If your host is 1/2 way competent, they should be able to set it up for you on your server. Especially if you are using a cPanel setup. All the bounce requirement is, is a dedicated mailbox (like a user mailbox) that is available via POP/IMAP.
I'm confused what you mean. Bouncing isn't done by email sending, although I believe Mandrill offer a solution for email bouncing. Email bounces are sent to an inbox.
Amazon SES and Mandrill, along with many others, offer this service. If you use shared hosting, like I think you said, then it's a piece of cake - make an email account in cPanel to handle bounces. Use Mandrill or whatever, as normal, for email sending.