In my first official post as Customer #1 I would like to thank all the little people who did their little best to make my rise swift and unassailable. Without you, well, I would still be #1, but I am trying to be magnanimous.
Also, a tip of the virtual chapeau to my dogs, Buddy and Little, who demand nothing from me but food and constant attention. I love you my smelly little friends.
Finally, a big, hearty round of applause for me. Let's face it, I make this all possible with my tireless work behind the scenes and financial support of Peggy and Lawrence, who can now quit their day jobs and concentrate on beating the mangey likes of the rest of you into submission. Those other new guys - I don't know who they are.
I am available for interviews, and please, no cash donations. You embarrass me with your sweet and humbling generosity.