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Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Joe., Nov 30, 2010.

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  1. Joe.

    Joe. Active Member

    Cheaters (people who aren't faithful in their relationship).. Do they deserve a second chance?
    Edrondol likes this.
  2. Quillz

    Quillz Well-Known Member

    Yes. Everyone is capable of redemption.
  3. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member


    A one night stand whilst away from home/under the influence/some other mitigating circumstance = Most likely forgive

    10 years of secretly visiting a mistress/the local gay glory hole = see you later aligator!
  4. kilcher

    kilcher Active Member

    Up to the person I suppose. I wouldn't give someone a second chance and I've told my wife I wouldn't expect (or want) her to give me one. She deserves better than that.
    Peggy likes this.
  5. CyclingTribe

    CyclingTribe Well-Known Member

    A better one would be - "Would you tell someone if you knew their partner had cheated on them?" ... ooohhhhh :eek:
  6. Nix

    Nix Well-Known Member

    No. I could never fully trust them again and that is not a good base for a relationship.
    Peggy likes this.
  7. Ranger375

    Ranger375 Well-Known Member

    Only if the girl he cheated on with was hotter than you.
  8. Peggy

    Peggy Well-Known Member

    It does depend on the person. For me, no, I couldn't give him a second chance. Because it takes alot for me to trust someone, and if that trust is broken, it's almost impossible for me to trust him again. There will always be suspicion, always questions, always wondering where he is, who he's with, if he's 10 mins late getting home. Not a good basis for a relationship, so it's better to end it and move on.

    Speaking only for myself.
    Nix likes this.
  9. Peggy

    Peggy Well-Known Member

  10. Ranger375

    Ranger375 Well-Known Member

    I kid, I kid ! :D
  11. Floris

    Floris Guest

    Sure, they can get a second chance with their new partner in the future, which won't be me.

    If I am with someone, I at least have the respect for the other person to end the relationship before going into another one. It's common sense, morals, and all that blah.

    Cheating around "got caught up in the moment" bull .. the trust will be gone, and I need that. They can go get a second chance somewhere else.
    Nix and Peggy like this.
  12. Jamie

    Jamie Well-Known Member

    It's my one rule when dating or seeing someone.. With that, there are no second chances.

    For me it runs deeper than the one time they 'slipped' for me, it's the fact that I believe that if it's meant to be it will.. People click and stay together for years.. my parents have been together for 58 years. Some people don't click and attempt to stay together.. I don't believe in that. If there is something that would make my partner cheat, to me that shows there are issues as we can't be together.

    Harsh? maybe.. Honest? I think so.

    I have had to deal with this once in my life and that was enough... so no second chances.

    Peggy likes this.
  13. Anthony Parsons

    Anthony Parsons Well-Known Member

    Hard question that one...

    I have always advised people that it is really an individual decision, and if that decision encompasses forgiveness, then you must leave the past in the past, and not allow that past issue constantly impede your present. If you do, the relationship falls down regardless, except all you do is punish the person... its like a form of payback I guess, at the emotional level.

    You simply have to make a true and honest decision. Can you ever trust the person again or not. The answer is that simple, regardless of all the financial or family aspects that surround a relationship. Love is a wonderful thing, but with love comes trust, and if that trust is removed and not truly forgiven, then all you do is prolong the inevitable vs. really repair the trust aspect of love itself.

    Some people find cheating less of an issue than others... so its individual.

    I agree with others, in my individual case, and my wife's, we both see it as the ultimate betrayal of our relationship. If you're that desperate for sex, then masturbate... as both sexes can do that.
    Peggy likes this.
  14. FredC

    FredC Well-Known Member

    HELL NO!!!
  15. Ingenious

    Ingenious Well-Known Member

    It's easy to say you wouldn't give someone another chance, but the reality is it's so much more complicated than this. Each relationship is different, I think the hardest cheating to come back from is where there was apparently nothing wrong in the relationship but one party still cheated. Then you not only have trust issues, but guilt, and a lack of understanding why it happened - which can make it hurt more. Then at the other end, there are relationships which are, or have already, fallen apart and the cheating is simply a reflection of this. We all like to stamp our feet and say, out of principle, we'd never forgive, but if you love someone to bits, it can be worth fighting for, providing you can resolve the issues and move on.

    But trust on the other hand, is something IMO that once it's damaged like this, can never be 100% repaired.
    Peggy likes this.
  16. WoodiE

    WoodiE Well-Known Member

    It's only cheating if you get caught.
    Ranger375 and Terrorz like this.
  17. Blandt

    Blandt Well-Known Member

    no .
    once a cheater always a cheater.
    steven s, Peggy and Nix like this.
  18. Peggy

    Peggy Well-Known Member

  19. Kaiser

    Kaiser Well-Known Member

  20. Blandt

    Blandt Well-Known Member

    ...and you will get caught ;)
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