• This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn more.

Cheaters

Status
Not open for further replies.

Kim

Well-known member
#3
Depends....

A one night stand whilst away from home/under the influence/some other mitigating circumstance = Most likely forgive

10 years of secretly visiting a mistress/the local gay glory hole = see you later aligator!
 

kilcher

Active member
#4
Up to the person I suppose. I wouldn't give someone a second chance and I've told my wife I wouldn't expect (or want) her to give me one. She deserves better than that.
 

Peggy

Well-known member
#8
It does depend on the person. For me, no, I couldn't give him a second chance. Because it takes alot for me to trust someone, and if that trust is broken, it's almost impossible for me to trust him again. There will always be suspicion, always questions, always wondering where he is, who he's with, if he's 10 mins late getting home. Not a good basis for a relationship, so it's better to end it and move on.

Speaking only for myself.
 
F

Floris

Guest
#11
Yes. Everyone is capable of redemption.
Sure, they can get a second chance with their new partner in the future, which won't be me.

If I am with someone, I at least have the respect for the other person to end the relationship before going into another one. It's common sense, morals, and all that blah.

Cheating around "got caught up in the moment" bull .. the trust will be gone, and I need that. They can go get a second chance somewhere else.
 

Jamie

Well-known member
#12
It's my one rule when dating or seeing someone.. With that, there are no second chances.

For me it runs deeper than the one time they 'slipped' for me, it's the fact that I believe that if it's meant to be it will.. People click and stay together for years.. my parents have been together for 58 years. Some people don't click and attempt to stay together.. I don't believe in that. If there is something that would make my partner cheat, to me that shows there are issues as we can't be together.

Harsh? maybe.. Honest? I think so.

I have had to deal with this once in my life and that was enough... so no second chances.

Jamie
 

Anthony Parsons

Well-known member
#13
Hard question that one...

I have always advised people that it is really an individual decision, and if that decision encompasses forgiveness, then you must leave the past in the past, and not allow that past issue constantly impede your present. If you do, the relationship falls down regardless, except all you do is punish the person... its like a form of payback I guess, at the emotional level.

You simply have to make a true and honest decision. Can you ever trust the person again or not. The answer is that simple, regardless of all the financial or family aspects that surround a relationship. Love is a wonderful thing, but with love comes trust, and if that trust is removed and not truly forgiven, then all you do is prolong the inevitable vs. really repair the trust aspect of love itself.

Some people find cheating less of an issue than others... so its individual.

I agree with others, in my individual case, and my wife's, we both see it as the ultimate betrayal of our relationship. If you're that desperate for sex, then masturbate... as both sexes can do that.
 

Ingenious

Well-known member
#15
It's easy to say you wouldn't give someone another chance, but the reality is it's so much more complicated than this. Each relationship is different, I think the hardest cheating to come back from is where there was apparently nothing wrong in the relationship but one party still cheated. Then you not only have trust issues, but guilt, and a lack of understanding why it happened - which can make it hurt more. Then at the other end, there are relationships which are, or have already, fallen apart and the cheating is simply a reflection of this. We all like to stamp our feet and say, out of principle, we'd never forgive, but if you love someone to bits, it can be worth fighting for, providing you can resolve the issues and move on.

But trust on the other hand, is something IMO that once it's damaged like this, can never be 100% repaired.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.