No, I can't use either of the xenForo-WordPress bridges. One of them doesn't offer this functionality at all, and the other is far too convoluted to be practical. In the latter plugin, WordPress logins are managed by xenForo and threads are automatically created in whichever forum section by the user you're logged in as. It requires you to post to the WordPress side using your xenForo login. I want WordPress to remain functionally independent.
I just want a bot that creates threads and throws their forum IDs at WordPress so that I can change my little comment bubbles to a link back to the respective xenForo thread. That's it.
And as far as I've seen, there are dozens of us looking for the same thing. Make this, and you could probably charge $30-40.