Light It Up Blue
- Thread starter Peggy
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Peggy
Well-known member
From the heart of an Autistic Child...
I Don't always Speak, but I'm always listening.
I Don't always understand, but I always care.
I Don't always know what to do, but I always do my best.
I Don't always sing along, but I always feel the music.
I Don't always hug you back, but I always know your touch.
I Don't always smile, but I'm always happy to see you.
I Don't always say I love you, but rest assured I do.
I Don't always Speak, but I'm always listening.
I Don't always understand, but I always care.
I Don't always know what to do, but I always do my best.
I Don't always sing along, but I always feel the music.
I Don't always hug you back, but I always know your touch.
I Don't always smile, but I'm always happy to see you.
I Don't always say I love you, but rest assured I do.
Saeed
Well-known member
Peggy
Well-known member
Excellent article, and absolutely true. I see so much of this in my son. Incredible.
Thanks for posting this article Abdul.
Peggy
Well-known member
Alot of that article is my son to a "T". Fortunately he's not a non-verbal autistic. He has Asperger Syndrome and is very articulate. One of the characteristics of a child with Aspergers is that their vocabulary is very advanced, and they are often referred to as "Little Professors" as a result. And that is my child. He very often leaves me and others astouonded when in conversation with him, because of the words and expressions he uses, his almost perfect memory, his love of facts, figures, science, math, Legos, electronics, etc.
Abd he absolutely sees the world from a much different angle than us "normal" people. I swear sometimes I think he's the "normal" one and the rest of us are disabled.
Abd he absolutely sees the world from a much different angle than us "normal" people. I swear sometimes I think he's the "normal" one and the rest of us are disabled.
Peggy
Well-known member
Tell me about it! I never know what will happen from one day to the next with him, lol. It's not always good, because he does have ADHD as well as a mood disorder and sensory processing disorder. Sooo we definitely have our days. He's also not social at all, preferring to stay at home, usually on his computer. He can't talk on the phone because the frequency hurts his ears. There are no visits to a circus, or to see 4th of July fireworks - too loud. SO I try to make sure that his life is full and fun in other ways, which can be difficult, but it's all good.Exactly. I think it just takes some "tuning in" at the right frequency with these brilliant guys.
Once you're there...well, fasten your seatbelts 'cause you're in for one heck of a ride!
Fred Sherman
Well-known member
Growing up, I never quite fit in. I was the loner, the outside; I was more comfortable with my own thoughts that being with others. High school was especially difficult for me. I went from outside to outcast.
As early as 4th grade, I had a teach who thought, as he told my parents, "he's mildly retarded". I met with the school counselor and had my IQ tested. They expected something around 100, but got something around 200, 197 to be exact. I should note that is an older test. Using the newer testing, that kind of score isn't possible anymore. Modern tests put me at 158 out of 160.
That landed me in all of the honors classes, but my grades were terrible. I didn’t do homework. I didn’t want to. It made no sense to me and I didn’t understand the purpose. Teachers hated it. I would barely pass because I aced every test – except for certain classes: art, music, gym – those I failed legitimately.
Don’t get me wrong, I love music. Classical music is mathematical. Modern music is a pattern. There’re the rhyming patterns, the structural patterns: verse 1, chorus, verse 2, chorus, bridge, chorus. And sports? Is there any sport that has more mathematics and physics to it than baseball?
When I entered the military, life got better. I flourished under highly regimented military life. I was judged based on my ability to perform highly complex tasks and social relations were based upon a hierarchical system of rank and time in service.
When I entered civilian life, it got difficult again. Office politics? Beyond my grasp. In the military, everyone wore a name tag - no confusion. In my first job, I worked with a team of 10 engineers. It took six months for me to learn and remember everyone's name. It took 1 day to memorize their phone numbers. I could put a phone number with a face, long before I could a name. But faces are patterns, and those can be recognized.
My specialty even today, is troubleshooting. I can see the patterns others can't. I see the way the pieces fit together. Some work on hardware, others software, other operating systems, others networks and still others SAN. I understand it all and how it fits together into one whole. I know the different vocabulary each specialty uses and I can, translate, for lack of a better term, from one to the other.
In the end, I usually just have to tell them what to do to fix the problem, because I can never get them to understand. I can see it, but I can't articulate it.
In short, my life is a living hell. I have a niche where I am functional, but constantly frustrated by the people around me not understanding. I can't tell you how many times I have to say to someone, "I don't know how to make you understand the problem so please just do what I ask, even if you don't understand why I'm asking it." How would you react to that person? What would you think? Arrogant? "Always right"? I've heard all of that. Well respected, but not well liked.
I suffer from a form of high-functioning Autism (more properly, an Autistic Spectrum Disorder) called Asperger Syndrome. It’s not uncommon, and there a number of individual who have had this condition of note: Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, George Orwell, H G Wells and Ludwig Wittgenstein as well as Beethoven, Mozart, Hans Christian Andersen
It also affects my marriage. As I am typing this, my wife is asking me what I want for Easter dinner and giving me options. My response is a familiar one, " I don't care. Whatever you want is fine." because I really don't care. I have no preference. I would rather she just decide and put it in front of me.
I also don't like my food touching each other. Love divided cafeteria plates! I eat one thing at a time, usually alphabetically. If I get mixed vegetables, I eat each one individually. Put a bowl of M&Ms out, and I will eat them by color, by their order on the color spectrum. Aspergers is not OCD, but shares some elements of it, frustratingly so.
I don't know if Autism can be cured. I think it is how we are wired in the womb, and is a done deal when we emerge to draw our first breath. But I do believe that early detection and treatment, may allow all Autistic children to be high functioning and live as normal a life as possible. The research is very promising.
One in 150 individuals is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined. I pray that the day will come soon when prenatal testing can identify autistic children even before birth so that therapy can begin at birth. Studies have show the first two years of life are critical.
As early as 4th grade, I had a teach who thought, as he told my parents, "he's mildly retarded". I met with the school counselor and had my IQ tested. They expected something around 100, but got something around 200, 197 to be exact. I should note that is an older test. Using the newer testing, that kind of score isn't possible anymore. Modern tests put me at 158 out of 160.
That landed me in all of the honors classes, but my grades were terrible. I didn’t do homework. I didn’t want to. It made no sense to me and I didn’t understand the purpose. Teachers hated it. I would barely pass because I aced every test – except for certain classes: art, music, gym – those I failed legitimately.
Don’t get me wrong, I love music. Classical music is mathematical. Modern music is a pattern. There’re the rhyming patterns, the structural patterns: verse 1, chorus, verse 2, chorus, bridge, chorus. And sports? Is there any sport that has more mathematics and physics to it than baseball?
When I entered the military, life got better. I flourished under highly regimented military life. I was judged based on my ability to perform highly complex tasks and social relations were based upon a hierarchical system of rank and time in service.
When I entered civilian life, it got difficult again. Office politics? Beyond my grasp. In the military, everyone wore a name tag - no confusion. In my first job, I worked with a team of 10 engineers. It took six months for me to learn and remember everyone's name. It took 1 day to memorize their phone numbers. I could put a phone number with a face, long before I could a name. But faces are patterns, and those can be recognized.
My specialty even today, is troubleshooting. I can see the patterns others can't. I see the way the pieces fit together. Some work on hardware, others software, other operating systems, others networks and still others SAN. I understand it all and how it fits together into one whole. I know the different vocabulary each specialty uses and I can, translate, for lack of a better term, from one to the other.
In the end, I usually just have to tell them what to do to fix the problem, because I can never get them to understand. I can see it, but I can't articulate it.
In short, my life is a living hell. I have a niche where I am functional, but constantly frustrated by the people around me not understanding. I can't tell you how many times I have to say to someone, "I don't know how to make you understand the problem so please just do what I ask, even if you don't understand why I'm asking it." How would you react to that person? What would you think? Arrogant? "Always right"? I've heard all of that. Well respected, but not well liked.
I suffer from a form of high-functioning Autism (more properly, an Autistic Spectrum Disorder) called Asperger Syndrome. It’s not uncommon, and there a number of individual who have had this condition of note: Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, George Orwell, H G Wells and Ludwig Wittgenstein as well as Beethoven, Mozart, Hans Christian Andersen
It also affects my marriage. As I am typing this, my wife is asking me what I want for Easter dinner and giving me options. My response is a familiar one, " I don't care. Whatever you want is fine." because I really don't care. I have no preference. I would rather she just decide and put it in front of me.
I also don't like my food touching each other. Love divided cafeteria plates! I eat one thing at a time, usually alphabetically. If I get mixed vegetables, I eat each one individually. Put a bowl of M&Ms out, and I will eat them by color, by their order on the color spectrum. Aspergers is not OCD, but shares some elements of it, frustratingly so.
I don't know if Autism can be cured. I think it is how we are wired in the womb, and is a done deal when we emerge to draw our first breath. But I do believe that early detection and treatment, may allow all Autistic children to be high functioning and live as normal a life as possible. The research is very promising.
One in 150 individuals is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined. I pray that the day will come soon when prenatal testing can identify autistic children even before birth so that therapy can begin at birth. Studies have show the first two years of life are critical.
Kim
Well-known member
Thanks for sharing Fred
You are not alone, but you are uncommon in being diagnosed or recongnised for your ASD, it is very rare in adults to have that DX... most just stumble through life not really understanding why they are feel so different and cannot fit in with so called "normal" society.
Here we refer to "normal" people as "neuro-typical" or NT as the ASD brain is actually neurologically different in structure than an NT brain, and we have no idea how powerful that might be, or how much knowledge and wisdom we have lost over the years by treating anyone slightly different as a freak to be locked up, marginalised, even killed.
This however would worry me greatly, I can see that it would be a major reason to terminate a pregnancy, as it was I was strongly advised to terminate the pregancy of my son due to his physical issues, it was only that we sought out a second opinion that my son is alive today.
ASD is considered a huge issue or disability by a lot of very ignorant people, including those within the medical and educational spheres and as such it would be seen as a valid reason to terminate... much as now the birth rate for Down Syndrome is less than 10% of actual diagnosed cases.
The world would be a significantly poorer and less advanced place if it was not for many ASD citizens throughout history, it would be a travesty of the highest order to lose a brilliant mind to an "easier life" for the parents/medical staff/educators.
You are not alone, but you are uncommon in being diagnosed or recongnised for your ASD, it is very rare in adults to have that DX... most just stumble through life not really understanding why they are feel so different and cannot fit in with so called "normal" society.
Here we refer to "normal" people as "neuro-typical" or NT as the ASD brain is actually neurologically different in structure than an NT brain, and we have no idea how powerful that might be, or how much knowledge and wisdom we have lost over the years by treating anyone slightly different as a freak to be locked up, marginalised, even killed.
This however would worry me greatly, I can see that it would be a major reason to terminate a pregnancy, as it was I was strongly advised to terminate the pregancy of my son due to his physical issues, it was only that we sought out a second opinion that my son is alive today.
ASD is considered a huge issue or disability by a lot of very ignorant people, including those within the medical and educational spheres and as such it would be seen as a valid reason to terminate... much as now the birth rate for Down Syndrome is less than 10% of actual diagnosed cases.
The world would be a significantly poorer and less advanced place if it was not for many ASD citizens throughout history, it would be a travesty of the highest order to lose a brilliant mind to an "easier life" for the parents/medical staff/educators.
iTuN3r
Well-known member
It's just the natural thing to do, since my son has a form of autism.
Thanks darlin'.
Thanks peggy for support and This thread my brothers kid is 7yrs old he has same problem.
Saeed
Well-known member
Thank you so much for sharing this, Fred. Sharing personal issues is hard, for any one...and for someone who is "impaired in social interaction and communication" [the cliche we all so blatantly use], I can only try to imagine how hard that may have been to write and share. But believe it or not, for those who dare to and want to catch a sneak peak into these special brains and how they work, this was indeed a treat to read. So once again, thank you!
Fred, I still remember that thread here where you gave advice to one of the members about how to behave on the first date with a girl. And today I'll tell you, after reading it, I said to myself..."Man, this guy is either very methodical or then very experienced." I gave more weight to the experience factor, but now I can see that there was a lot of contribution from your methodical way of thinking as well. I have actually read that post more than one time...no, I don' t have a daughter of my own, I'm not even married...but the way it was full till the brim of common sense and logic just appealed to me again and again.
It's sad indeed, that anything that is out of the norm becomes the "outlying entity" for us, even abnormal, which is even worse. But hey, if you could over come an impairment which you were born with and can't really do much about, it's a sad spectacle indeed for us normal beings if we can not appreciate that despite all our gifted faculties and try to help out.
What limits us today is the fact that we can not fully comprehend yet what actually goes wrong doing the developing process of the brain that leads to its social functioning not developing the same way that logical thinking and processing power of the brain does for people with autism. At times I think that perhaps social functioning and such a high level of cortical processing just do not go together. But whatever it is, I pray with you that we may learn more about this, because only when we are knowledgeable about something do we overcome the fear of the unknown and the process of acceptability begins.
Do keep sharing with us your patterns and methods...for you can see what we can not. And for that, we not only respect you, but like you as well.
Fred, I still remember that thread here where you gave advice to one of the members about how to behave on the first date with a girl. And today I'll tell you, after reading it, I said to myself..."Man, this guy is either very methodical or then very experienced." I gave more weight to the experience factor, but now I can see that there was a lot of contribution from your methodical way of thinking as well. I have actually read that post more than one time...no, I don' t have a daughter of my own, I'm not even married...but the way it was full till the brim of common sense and logic just appealed to me again and again.
It's sad indeed, that anything that is out of the norm becomes the "outlying entity" for us, even abnormal, which is even worse. But hey, if you could over come an impairment which you were born with and can't really do much about, it's a sad spectacle indeed for us normal beings if we can not appreciate that despite all our gifted faculties and try to help out.
What limits us today is the fact that we can not fully comprehend yet what actually goes wrong doing the developing process of the brain that leads to its social functioning not developing the same way that logical thinking and processing power of the brain does for people with autism. At times I think that perhaps social functioning and such a high level of cortical processing just do not go together. But whatever it is, I pray with you that we may learn more about this, because only when we are knowledgeable about something do we overcome the fear of the unknown and the process of acceptability begins.
Do keep sharing with us your patterns and methods...for you can see what we can not. And for that, we not only respect you, but like you as well.
yoghurtfarmer
Well-known member
I hope no one takes this the wrong way but it's a pet peeve of mine when people quote certain historical figures as having Aspergers or Autism for certain (I hear a lot of it because of the field I work in part-time). Much of it is speculation and more often than not, based on very thin evidence and biased anecdotes. I'm sure many of them did have Asperger syndrome but I do not like the trend where journalists/academics/experts label any prominent person with eccentric traits as having autism/asperger.
I think the important thing to highlight is that many characteristics of autism spectrum disorders can be found in the general populace to some extent. Like most things, it's very much a continuum.
Peggy
Well-known member
If you had read any of my prior posts in this thread, you'd see that I said these people were thought to have Asperger because they possessed many of the traits of Asperger Syndrome. I just didn't happen to put it that way in the above post.
But thank you for your input.
Fred Sherman
Well-known member
<body><p><p>
<p><br><p>I didn't even consider that. As a Catholic, abortion doesn't even enter into my thinking, but when you bring it up, I certainly do see that prenatal testing would be a two-edged sword, and given the ignorance even within the medical field, one side might be considerably sharper.
Fred Sherman
Well-known member
Here we are, two years later. Today was the 4th annual LIUB day. I wish I had participated, but in a twist of fate, I was suffering through a meltdown, sitting in the dark. Autism - there is no Aspergers as a separate diagnosis anymore - can be as crippling as any physical ailment.
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