Just wanted to pay my respects (virtually)

John917

Active member
I've accidentally ran into the posts of a couple of active members here that have passed. At first I thought it was a joke and was shocked as everyone to find out it was real. Then it lead to even more bad news and just saddening to hear about such tragic news.

I've been going through a pretty brutal 3 months (just working a lot, mostly in isolation), and the posts you guys all shared in respect to these guys who've passed really uplifted me.
I'm not as talented as you guys and I play the role of a solo entrepreneur (as much as I hate this word thats what society labels it as), and it can get pretty awful as I face rejection and sometimes borderline looked down upon (there's a negative stigma given the amount of greed in this side of the world). On a daily basis. I have to do things like reach out to people to try and grow something and often looked at as a solicitor, which I totally get. Doesn't change the fact that it's emotionally damaging given that I have been bullied for most of my life and the only thing that gets me through is the **** I've overcome and the dog mentality where I tell the negativity to fk off and the mental pain's got nothing on me.

People can be down right awful. When I say this is that a majority of people throughout my life just haven't been very nice to me. Whether it be child abuse, childhood "friends," work industry, area that I live in, and culture brought out by money and insecurities which is rampant in this generation. Just ran into a few "fake friends" at the grocery store, who instead of asking if I was genuinely ok, just looked at me funny, and left with a fake "hope you feel better." I've been severely sick and ran out of food so I had to embarrassingly go out in public with my back hunched and eyes squinting most of the time. I live in LA and I meet people like this on a regular basis here, and it's usually not personal but stems from their own insecurities as it's super expensive to live here and jealousy is rampant and often turns into people judging the heck out of each other.

Then I ran into Liam's post before his passing and reminded me how we are not all that different nor perfect. We all have this guilt of bitterness and it's better to give people the benefit of the doubt and keep our heads up.

I'm sure most of us are pretty socially awkward and anti social to a certain extent, but communities like this brings out the fact that we're all just in the end of the day good people who want to collaborate and socialize in some way.

I've gotten the pleasure to have private discussions with some of the members here and for a few really got to know some of you guys. And the few kind devs I'm closely working with, you know how much I respect you.

Sorry about the emotional rant, but just wanted to share and let some of this out. Just wanted to say thank you for the Xenforo team and all the amazing people that contribute to this community. I grew up with forums since the Xanga blogging generation and been enjoying online communities ever since. Xenforo has been a big part of my life as well and none of the online communities I've managed would have been possible with the amazing generous and passionate devs that contribute here (including the Xenforo team who doesn't get enough recognition).

Time to get back to work! I'm blessed to be in a position to be able to potentially change the world and make the world a better place despite the amount of rejection that comes with my line of work. Bless you guys and I wish you nothing but a fruitful life ahead of you. And stay safe out there.

Thanks for reading.
 

Davyc

Well-known member
I feel the pain in your words. I can empathise with a lot that you have said and what you are going through. I Skype a friend in Sante twice a week and he appraises me of the hardship in your neck of the woods. It's a shameful world that we live in, in many respects, beautiful and warm in other ways. People can be both loving and cruel and it's difficult to discover the better part of humanity when such selfishness and greed endures.

It's always a truly sad time when we lose people we know, people we share our lives with and people we love. It's the saddest part of a life well lived, for it to end, often without warning or cause. Death is a part of life, and none of us know if there is anything afterwards, but the truly sad part is when you are dying inside whilst still living. That can be brought about from a myriad of things, but mostly from the heartless who have nothing to give but take without a thought. I send my prayers out to all those who have lost someone, but also to those, like yourself, who are having a truly rough time getting by and through life one day at a time.

Your opening up and sharing a fractional part of your life is most welcome and honest. You appear to be a person of good character that appreciates what others do for you, whether that is something online or in the live world out there. To be uplifted by the thoughts of others sending out their love and kind thoughts to people that have passed over, people you have probably never met, is also uplifting. To gain something from someone else's loss in the kindest and most thoughtful of ways is remarkable.

Thank you for sharing a part of your life with this amazing community.
 

John917

Active member
I feel the pain in your words. I can empathise with a lot that you have said and what you are going through. I Skype a friend in Sante twice a week and he appraises me of the hardship in your neck of the woods. It's a shameful world that we live in, in many respects, beautiful and warm in other ways. People can be both loving and cruel and it's difficult to discover the better part of humanity when such selfishness and greed endures.

It's always a truly sad time when we lose people we know, people we share our lives with and people we love. It's the saddest part of a life well lived, for it to end, often without warning or cause. Death is a part of life, and none of us know if there is anything afterwards, but the truly sad part is when you are dying inside whilst still living. That can be brought about from a myriad of things, but mostly from the heartless who have nothing to give but take without a thought. I send my prayers out to all those who have lost someone, but also to those, like yourself, who are having a truly rough time getting by and through life one day at a time.

Your opening up and sharing a fractional part of your life is most welcome and honest. You appear to be a person of good character that appreciates what others do for you, whether that is something online or in the live world out there. To be uplifted by the thoughts of others sending out their love and kind thoughts to people that have passed over, people you have probably never met, is also uplifting. To gain something from someone else's loss in the kindest and most thoughtful of ways is remarkable.

Thank you for sharing a part of your life with this amazing community.
Thanks Davyc. Like you said, it's one of many storms in life we just have to sail through and we just gotta keep our heads up. Gonna keep challenging the problems and try to fix things as long as I'm breathing.

Thanks again.
 

sbj

Well-known member
I think overall everywhere in the world there is a huge problem with cost of living right now. Sure, some (like 10-20%) of the population is lucky to be in the middle class or to be rich or super rich, but most of us are not that lucky.

You took the time to write such a long post and I wanted to show my appreciation for it by replying ot it. Sure, I can't offer you a real friendship, or any help or any solution to your problems, the only thing I can do is to give you a heartfelt virtual hug. It may not be much but enough for you to know that you are not alone.

My best advice is to enjoy the little things of life.
 

John917

Active member
I think overall everywhere in the world there is a huge problem with cost of living right now. Sure, some (like 10-20%) of the population is lucky to be in the middle class or to be rich or super rich, but most of us are not that lucky.

You took the time to write such a long post and I wanted to show my appreciation for it by replying ot it. Sure, I can't offer you a real friendship, or any help or any solution to your problems, the only thing I can do is to give you a heartfelt virtual hug. It may not be much but enough for you to know that you are not alone.

My best advice is to enjoy the little things of life.
Agreed, you gotta reserve time in your busy schedule to enjoy life!
Had to work hard to be able to settle in a big city like LA, and one of the biggest regret is not doing that enough in my 20's.

Also,
virtual hug taken.
Season 5 Hug GIF by The Office


Thanks sbj.
 
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