how to send private messages?

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In XenForo they are called, Conversations.

Click on my user name and you will see a box pop up. You'll notice a link which reads, Start a conversation.

That is 1 out of a few ways you can do it.
 
Is it possible to make it bigger? It's really hard to see. You have to know what you're looking for. I know that people will get frustrated anytime we change or upgrade software.
 
You can also start a conversation by going into your inbox and typing the person's name. OR visit their profile and click on the link there.

Through a simple template / skin edit, you can easily add a button too ;)
 
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