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Funniest Movie Quotes

Fred Sherman

Well-known member
#1
"This was, I believe, the first recorded instance of a CIA agent being eaten alive by a rainbow trout!"
Leonard Part 6 (since I mentioned it elsewhere)
 

Jethro

Well-known member
#6
"Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back." - Dr Peter Venkman (Ghostbusters)
 

John

Well-known member
#8
"Surely you can't be serious?"
"Yes, I am, and please don't call me Shirley"

Leslie Neilson in Airplane

A close second for me would be Steve Martin in The Jerk (hard to choose a favorite from that one):
"I was born a poor black child"
 

jadmperry

Well-known member
#12
"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Carl Spackler- Caddyshack FTW
 

jadmperry

Well-known member
#13
Although, this one is great, too:

Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery.
 

Fred Sherman

Well-known member
#17
"I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children."

-Earth Girls are Easy-