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7 Ways To Become A Great Forum Troll

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Kaiser, Jan 11, 2011.

  1. Kaiser

    Kaiser Well-Known Member

    There are some very important components to being a great forum troll and you must embody them all if you want to be truly effective.
    1. It's very important to be a poor speller. I can't stress this one enough. It's against the troll code of conduct to spell words correctly, so proper spelling will give you away as a wannabe very quickly.
    2. You must be creative with profanity. It's not enough to use profanity, you need to be able to use it in new and exciting ways. Sure, you might get a reaction if you call someone a mother somethingorother, but you'll get a much stronger reaction if you specify just whose mother that person has been somethingorothering.
    4. Accuse the other person of being BLEEP . When you get into a war of words with someone, odds are they will win it. Why do I say that? Because most trolls are mental midgets and you're a troll, right? So, you'll need a back up plan for when you lose an argument, and few things will do more damage than accusing a complete stranger of being BLEEP. Of course the other person will be humiliated that you've somehow deduced the sexual orientation he's kept hidden from family and friends for all these years and he'll likely be so ashamed that he'll never show his face on the site again. Or maybe not, but it's free to try, right?
    5. Don't let facts get in the way of a good opinion. This is a biggie for a good troll. Go right ahead and state whatever is on your mind and when confronted with evidence to the contrary, stand your ground. Question the other person's sources, as in, "Hillary WHO?", and when the source can't be questioned, question the context, as in, "sure, but does it list how often he stutters during all speeches, or just after State of the Union addresses?"
    6. When in doubt, threaten physical violence. This one will really show them. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of others like being threatened by some faceless name on a computer screen. Sure, you're a scrawny, 120 pound geek sitting in front of his computer wearing three day old underwear, but tell someone you're going to kick his butt and everyone will think you're 7 foot tall and bullet proof. All the other people on the forum will instantly become afraid of you and no one will ever dare disagree with you again.
    7. Your head must be up your rear end. This is not negotiable, all trolls have their heads up there, without exception.
    These are the most important components of being a great forum troll, but explore a little and see how many new ideas you can come up with. You're only limited by your imagination, profanity filters and, in certain cases, law enforcement agencies, so have at it.
    If you're looking for real world examples, odds are that a few will show up in the replies to this post.

    RastaLulz, whynot, Sadik B and 3 others like this.
  2. CyclingTribe

    CyclingTribe Well-Known Member

    Very good ... :D

    Late edit - Just noticed this bit ^^... lol
    erich37 likes this.
  3. -Calypso-

    -Calypso- Member

    Possible additions.

    8. Create new accounts. Be sure to have plenty of spare email accounts on hand so when your main gets banned, you can quickly re-register and try it again.
    9. Out of context. Make sure your copy+paste function is in proper working condition, you will need it to hack a statement to pieces and rearrange it so that it remotely fits your argument.
    10. Threaten to hack someone. Don't forget that if you are getting the short end of the stick in the conversation, you can always threaten to hack their PC or website. I mean if you can't even win an trivial argument, they are sure to believe that you have advanced networking skills to shut them down.
    krstep, Dragonfly and Kaiser like this.
  4. Kaiser

    Kaiser Well-Known Member

    lol @ 10
  5. AnthonyCea

    AnthonyCea Well-Known Member

    I'm already trolling, I don't need any tips.
  6. Luke F

    Luke F Well-Known Member

    Solution to trolls - just :frog: and move on

    Junior likes this.
  7. Zuko Xi

    Zuko Xi Member

    Number 11: Create a thread on how to be a forum troll.
    steven s and GeeksKickAss like this.
  8. Kaiser

    Kaiser Well-Known Member

    wow. [​IMG]
  9. dieketzer

    dieketzer Well-Known Member

    if one is a truly great troll, you will have a hard time pinning them down as a troll ;)
    zaiger likes this.
  10. mjp

    mjp Well-Known Member

    The definitive encyclopedia of troll types and behaviors is right here. It is the result of years of study and canny psychological insight. A work of inspired genius and humanitarianism, TIME magazine called it "essential reading for the enlightenment of mankind," along with the works of Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King and L. Ron Hubbard.
    Mikey and Kaiser like this.
  11. Mattie Num Nums

    Mattie Num Nums Active Member

    YOUR NO CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKN ABOUT. Ryly you *^&*&^ think your smart wit ur witz. Your just a piece of &*&#*. I mean come on everyone in the world know thats no troll I can. Post ths gain I will punch face. I'm popularz.

    Dragonfly, Kaiser and jmurrayhead like this.
  12. jmurrayhead

    jmurrayhead Well-Known Member

    lol...Troll :D
  13. Kaiser

    Kaiser Well-Known Member

  14. Fred Sherman

    Fred Sherman Well-Known Member

    When making important points, just as in dating, size and boldness matters.
    Kaiser and jmurrayhead like this.
  15. steven s

    steven s Well-Known Member

  16. Kaiser

    Kaiser Well-Known Member

    Number 12: Reply to a thread which is helping forum trolls.
  17. CyclingTribe

    CyclingTribe Well-Known Member

    Number 13: Trollfest - if someone accuses you of being a troll, accuse them right back. When their friends (from their clique) come to their rescue - by calling you a troll too - call them trolls as well. Before long everyone is calling everyone else a troll; now rest easy and watch the Trollfest :)
    steven s and Dragonfly like this.
  18. Zuko Xi

    Zuko Xi Member

    *waits for Kier to show his face*
    Pretty certain he's a troll, especially on Monday mornings [​IMG]
  19. Jethro

    Jethro Well-Known Member

    But you are not trolling very well, ergo the tips are needed, though I must say they are really only helpful to novices.
  20. AnthonyCea

    AnthonyCea Well-Known Member

    The KierBro team thinks I am !!

    Have you seen the new 'custom user title' they gifted me with Jethro ??

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