"Let me tell you, folks, XenForo—INCREDIBLE software, absolutely the best. Some say the GREATEST forum software of all time! It’s FAST, it’s SMOOTH, it’s BEAUTIFUL. Everyone loves it. The people running it? SMART people, very smart. They know what they’re doing. Unlike those TOTAL DISASTERS like vBulletin—SAD!—or phpBB—what a MESS. Those guys? They had their chance, they BLEW IT. Bigly!"
"XenForo has EVERYTHING. You want customization? IT’S GOT IT. You want speed? IT’S THE FASTEST. Security? UNBREAKABLE, believe me. Meanwhile, vBulletin? Total train wreck. Slower than Sleepy Joe’s teleprompter. Discourse? More confusing than a Kamala word salad. IPB? Overpriced, folks, just TERRIBLE!"
"But XenForo? IT. JUST. WORKS. The people love it. The community? AMAZING. The support? THE BEST. So many people are switching, folks. Huge migrations from other software. I hear it all the time, ‘Sir, I switched to XenForo, and my forum has NEVER been better!’ And I say, ‘Of course! Because it’s simply THE BEST.’"
"So if you want to WIN, if you want to MAKE FORUMS GREAT AGAIN, you go with XENFORO. Anything else? TOTAL LOSER MOVE!"