The LOL thread

[John]

I'm pretty sure this is how this photo was taken...

Glad I don't live at this corner

 

[Itworx4me]

My 1 day employment
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
A good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
Unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.

Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'

So I replied,

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at
Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

 

[Raitsa]

 

[Itworx4me]

After 30 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the tv. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful.

Why did you stop?'




He said, 'I found the remote'.

 

[Saeed]

 

[BenForum]

and the last one.....................

 

[BenForum]

and there can be nothing more funny than this

 

[Dark Sage]

 

[Corey]

 

[raytrails]

 

[Adam Howard]

 

[raytrails]

 

[BlackJacket]

 

[BlackJacket]

Are my balls showing?

 

[John]

 

[DRE]

 

[raytrails]

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[Gabby]

I once tried to wax myself (I'll spare you the intimate details) and got myself stuck to the bottom of my tub. Almost had to call the fire department to unstick me. Used a spatuala and some additional melted wax to get me unstuck. My daughter couldn't stop laughing as I was yelling for her to get a spatula.

Thought I would share LOL

 

[John]

YUM! I'll have seconds!

Hope Kim isn't learning from this cookbook!

 

[BlackJacket]