Socially Awkward Members

DRE

DRE

Well-known member
My site seems to be full of socially awkward members. It's really aggravating. Last month I invited a noob who posted over a dozen times but no one really engaged her in conversation. She said it was boring, took her avi down and left. I invited another member back yesterday and she even posted some pics and finally put up a proper avatar up for once but she got no replies to her picwhore thread so she probably ain't coming back either. I invited a cool dude yesterday but he lurked for awhile and left because no one was online at the time.

I can't always get noobs to stay because my regulars rarely engage them in conversation. They are too busy flirting with each other in the Anonymous forum or talking in the chat box. Now I'm wondering if the chatbox and the anonymous forum is doing more damage than good or maybe it's because my members are antisocial. I thought I solved the chatbox problem by making it a paid usergroup feature only. I never thought the anonymous subforum would be a problem either cause that's only for proof pic members. These two features are my paid and verified members favorite features so I can't just take them away. Each time I do (and I've done so before in the past) members get upset and leave and some never come back. I'm basically just gonna have to deal with it this time around. (n)
 
I think every community has it's flaws @DRE. You just have to be a little more engaging with people. Maybe tag others in post... ie.... Newbie X post something so call user 1, 2, 3 into that post using @ with something like.... "You guys have to see this" Make the member feel welcome & put your normal bunch on the spot light.
 
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DRE said:
You're right and I do that occasionally just not often.
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Step up your game man. You need to be a little more pro-active. :)

Be thankful you don't have the problem I do at the moment. Every holiday, my site is dead. I mean right now, it's just me and little old me & no one else. See for yourself http://www.sociallyuncensored.eu

Everyone is just so busy this time of year, that even I don't post on my site during Christmas.
 
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People think it's quite glamorous to have a userbase that has been around for a while and keeps coming back, but when all of those people become very familiar with each other it gets hard for new users to integrate into a community. It's like if you transfer to a new school as a kid where everyone already knows one another and has made their friend groups. Some people do integrate but others just feel alienated.

If you can, encourage your older (as in, have been there longer) members to reach out a bit. Appeal to them by saying that new people in the mix could liven things up. If you're active on your own forum, try to reach out to the newer members. Post within their threads. We also hold events every now and then that do a good job of bringing everyone together, even the new people. Introduction sections are also not to be underestimated.

That's what I try to do at least, it's certainly not always successful, just the price you pay for having a dedicated member base.
 
Adam Howard said:
Step up your game man. You need to be a little more pro-active. :)

Be thankful you don't have the problem I do at the moment. Every holiday, my site is dead. I mean right now, it's just me and little old me & no one else. See for yourself http://www.sociallyuncensored.eu

Everyone is just so busy this time of year, that even I don't post on my site during Christmas.
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Every year's end and beginnings is slow on my site. I've come to expect it. They want me to do a holiday theme but I don't see the point. I guess the lesson I've learned is that I'm not doing enough. Oh well.
 
DBA said:
What's your site even about, what would make me sign up?
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Sharing your work and stuff you like. Learning how to copywrite your work. The latter goal being heavily neglected due to the issues I'm having with blogs, albums and videos.
 
mistypants said:
People think it's quite glamorous to have a userbase that has been around for a while and keeps coming back, but when all of those people become very familiar with each other it gets hard for new users to integrate into a community. It's like if you transfer to a new school as a kid where everyone already knows one another and has made their friend groups. Some people do integrate but others just feel alienated.

If you can, encourage your older (as in, have been there longer) members to reach out a bit. Appeal to them by saying that new people in the mix could liven things up. If you're active on your own forum, try to reach out to the newer members. Post within their threads. We also hold events every now and then that do a good job of bringing everyone together, even the new people. Introduction sections are also not to be underestimated.

That's what I try to do at least, it's certainly not always successful, just the price you pay for having a dedicated member base.
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I like events. I've had some successful competitions before. Some have failed. I guess I should do more. Kinda forgot about this. That's good advice, thank you.
 
The Bell Curve is always on display......but each community differs. In my case, I actually value guests more than members - because members, as misty notes, can get too familiar and think they own the place. I love our good members, but I'm happy to see most of them come, contribute and then move on to make room for new ones.....and guests.

But my site (hearth) is a bit different than some because the content is relatively timeless - at least it holds for a decade and often more. So having the main content is good, but having it repeated 100X does not add anything.

It's different if a site is about a fast moving and advancing subject and community itself. Then you need to engage - but there seems to be so much of that these days that folks are burnt out on "sharing".
 
Personally, I wouldn't use the term 'noobs'. Reading some of the 'about this site' and seeing 'noob' everywhere kinda put me off. Sure, once I was a member maybe I wouldn't have an issue, but I can see how that would cause people to not sign up.

Just food for thought.
 
DRE said:
Sharing your work and stuff you like. Learning how to copywrite your work. The latter goal being heavily neglected due to the issues I'm having with blogs, albums and videos.
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Just looked at your site some more and all I see is some random blog posts, there's no "forum" that I can see (which may very well be your intention). I also don't see any conversations between members, which makes me really confused as to why I should even register (or that I even can for that matter).
Freddie Agricola said:
Personally, I wouldn't use the term 'noobs'. Reading some of the 'about this site' and seeing 'noob' everywhere kinda put me off. Sure, once I was a member maybe I wouldn't have an issue, but I can see how that would cause people to not sign up.

Just food for thought.
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Where are you seeing this? I can't find any "About Us" link.

The "Clear Ya Cookies If You Can't Login" at the top is also a turn off for me. I'd see about moving it into the login page/dropdown or at the very least change the wording/language.
 
Freddie Agricola said:
Personally, I wouldn't use the term 'noobs'. Reading some of the 'about this site' and seeing 'noob' everywhere kinda put me off. Sure, once I was a member maybe I wouldn't have an issue, but I can see how that would cause people to not sign up.

Just food for thought.
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I don't have an issue with people signing up. That's not what this thread's about.
 
DBA said:
Just looked at your site some more and all I see is some random blog posts, there's no "forum" that I can see (which may very well be your intention). I also don't see any conversations between members, which makes me really confused as to why I should even register (or that I even can for that matter).

Where are you seeing this? I can't find any "About Us" link.

The "Clear Ya Cookies If You Can't Login" at the top is also a turn off for me. I'd see about moving it into the login page/dropdown or at the very least change the wording/language.
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My website is mostly a private invite-only forum. The parts that are public are some blogs, some albums and videos. When I say noobs, I'm not referring to guests. There's an "info" link. Which leads you to another page that has articles about the site. The first article is the "About Us" page. Most of the people I invite to my site would not even look for an "About Us" link. I haven't designed my site to be inviting to guests yet because my goal is to get it to look more like a wordpress multi-domain blog with blogs, pics and vids a masonry format with the blogs on the sidebar. That's taking awhile to get done.
 
This is what the site actually looks like while logged in though.

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 1.48.38 PM.webp

This is sorta what I want the site to look like for guests:

Guests would see public images and videos (instead of albums) and on the sidebar they would see the list of blogs and it's snippets (instead of the pic comments you see in the screenshot). The main page is supposed to show the public, sharable content, not the private forum. Just waiting for @sonnb to make a BD widget that will let us include both videos and pics in one widget and waiting for @Rigel Kentaurus to create a Featured Blogs Slider

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 1.49.07 PM.webp
 
I'd rather get a new skin, and then build it up from there. I don't think features are where you're lacking, it's that the design isn't enticing enough.
 
I think you are suffering from a decease a lot of site admins have (same here :D) and that is that you change too much @DRE .

Since I am a member here at XF I sometimes see your posts, check out the link to your site and see either 1) site is closed for maintenance or 2) a full blown redesign or 3) a private or public forum and now 4) a blogging site.

I think most people dig style changes to some extend but changing the core of your community too often kills it.

People don't sign up to closed communities. Make it open, show your content to guests and above all to google spiderbots so your site gets indexed properly.

I think that in general a blogger is a different type of user than a forum community member. The latter seems to engage more with other users while the blogger is a more modern Facebook type of guy/girl where its all about me me me me me me and me. #nooffense :D
 
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