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Prevent one user from PMing another?

Akela

Active member
#1
I have these two guys in one of my forums that seem to do fine in public but constantly bounce into major issues over PMs.

Is there a way to prevent one user from PMing another? Through the DB itself, perhaps?
 

Morgain

Well-known member
#5
But there isn't such an addon, is there?..
No and I already asked several developers about controlling the available recipients for PCs. (I wanted to do this by usergroup and user, like access permissions) They told me couldnt be done.
 

Morgain

Well-known member
#7
hmm it'll have to be humanware not software then. Persuasion and authority.

What kind of problem is it really ...
you say they act OK in public so do either complain to you about it?
If you take a peek via LAU is it really nasty n abusive?
Has it lasted months?

Blokes can often crash on each other quite hard without any real damage being done.
Maybe it's possible to take a hands off approach and leave them to it?
 

Akela

Active member
#8
Both parties complain and are sure that they are the ones being mistreated, no matter what I do. They quoted the PMs to me, so I know they are accurate - they start out OK, but end up as insults. Yes, it has gone on for months, on and off. They just clash - there isn't much that can be done about that.

It always starts in private and then carries on into public. I told them to not PM each other and to go through me with any issues. I don't think they want to carry on their private argument at this point, but they may again in the future. I just wanted a way to make sure that they cannot.

Maybe it's possible to take a hands off approach and leave them to it?
The site has had a very drama-intensive environment for a while. The surviving members are currently high on the fact that there isn't any anymore. I'd like to keep it like this at least for a bit while I rebuild the community.
 

Morgain

Well-known member
#10
I think you could make a statement on this pattern to both of them.

I very much sympathise with how the relationship with X has been difficult for you
Please consider that on a wider scale the community needs to rebuild and it's very important to avoid heat and tension as we do this together.
I am therefore appealing to you to avoid communicating with X because of the trouble there has been in the past
I am also asking the same of X.
I have done what I can to help but in the end it's bad chemistry between the two of you that cannot be helped by anyone else.
The best option is for you to use Ignore to cut out posts by X, see below. The alternative can only be heroic self restraint which is asking a lot of you.
Please be warned that for the sake of community peace if you find you simply cannot refrain from responding to X in sharp style, I will have to take drastic measures such as cancelling your ability to post a Personal Conversation at all, or placing your forum posts on moderation which delays their appearance on the board; or both.
I would strongly suggest you place X on Ignore so he no longer annoys you. You can do this by clicking his username anywhere you see it, then on the popup Membercard, on the right click Ignore.
 

Akela

Active member
#11
Just to clarify, it is the member who spills their disagreements into the public section, not the mod.
If you have a staff member who is part of the problem, it's time to find a replacement.
This is what I would usually say too, but this particular clash is the only issue with an otherwise excellent mod.
I'll see how it turns out. I made myself rather clear to them and if this repeats, I will take more serious measures.
I was just hoping to remove the temptation, so to speak.
 

Morgain

Well-known member
#12
If you have a staff member who is part of the problem, it's time to find a replacement.
Actually I'm inclined to agree. A mod has greater powers and responsibility to keep the peace.
But a clear sympathy/ warning/ practical suggestion like mine above should bring the message home that he's out of line and therefore being treated as an ordinary member.
 

Biker

Well-known member
#13
"Otherwise excellent" doesn't cut it. Either the staff member meets the requirements for the job or he doesn't. There's no in between. If he can't do the job in an objective manner, then he should be replaced.
 

Morgain

Well-known member
#14
"Otherwise excellent" doesn't cut it. Either the staff member meets the requirements for the job or he doesn't. There's no in between. If he can't do the job in an objective manner, then he should be replaced.
Don't agree there Biker. Perfect ain't human.
None of my staff are free of weakness. Necessarily we work together from our strengths which does require patience in places.

This mod has apparently not spilled into forum posts. If badly provoked that's as much as can be expected until Akela draws the line tighter.
 

Biker

Well-known member
#15
Not saying he has to be perfect. But taking antagonistic behavior to private messaging is just as bad as going public in the forums. If the moderator can't just say "we'll have to agree to disagree" and then ignore further PMs from the member, then there's an issue with the moderator.
 

Morgain

Well-known member
#16
Not saying he has to be perfect. But taking antagonistic behavior to private messaging is just as bad as going public in the forums. If the moderator can't just say "we'll have to agree to disagree" and then ignore further PMs from the member, then there's an issue with the moderator.
Ideally yes. So maybe another route is to ask the moderator to use ignore and wither the problem.