You can't.
The templating system doesn't really appear to be written with much interaction with the load_class listener framework, and makes heavy use of static methods & variables.
Excluding code edits;
The closest way, to achieve rewriting the Css Urls, is to use a post render template hook to zero out/replace the magic marker "<!--XenForo_Require:CSS-->". And then use tricks such as defining your own classes providing getters & setters for the protected static class members hidden deep in the templating system.