You seem to keep getting hung up on trivial points. While what you've spent might seem like a lot to you, it's still not enough to put you in the same arena with the big players you keep referencing, like Reddit.
It should though. 10k forum owners paying for a XF yearly renewal is enough to pay for several senior dev salaries.
When I look at reddit, I don't see any innovation besides threaded discussions. I believe it is fully within Kier and his team to do what reddit does or even excel.
If I knew that my xf forum would be obliterated by reddit, I could have tried making my own bespoke forum in the past 10 years.
This user is king idea I don't completely agree with and is a grey area, depending on circumstance. Creators certainly can and do dictate to users, all the time.
This is only true if you are Steve Jobs and you have the numbers to prove everyone wrong.
If you are not Steve Jobs and you forum is being decimated by Facebook/Reddit, then your opinion is worth nothing.