BREAKING NEWS: GAME OF THRONES EPISODE FORCES PLANE TO MAKE EMERGENCY LANDING
A plane on route to the San Francisco International Airport tonight had to make an emergency landing when passengers watching pirated versions of the HBO series Game of Thrones began hyperventilating, screaming hysterically, and violently damaging their tray tables. The situation turned more volatile when an airline stewardess unintentionally spoiled the ending of the episode for the captain, after which he stormed out of the cockpit shouting obscenities, forcing his co-pilot to land the plane on his own.
“I’ve never seen something like this before,” said one passenger on the flight. She was sitting next to one of the victims. “One minute, the guy next to me is just watching a show on his laptop, then all of the sudden, he starts shouting ‘No way! No F**king way!’” According to the witness, the man then slammed his laptop shut and violently kicked the chair in front of him. “He just wouldn’t stop screaming. He wouldn’t stop shouting cuss words.”
Another witness reported a similar incident at the front of the plane. “This chick next to me just started freaking out” says Martin Lodge, 39. “She was sobbing and kept saying ‘why, why, why’. At first, I thought maybe her boyfriend had just broken up with her by email or something, but then I heard this guy at the back of the plane yell ‘no way! no f**king way!’ and I knew something was going on. But what really tripped me out was the lady behind me. She started laughing!”
That lady was Angelica George, 32, who says she would have given anything to have had a video camera. “This was one of the most hysterical things I’ve ever seen. I’m a huge Game of Thrones fan and I’ve read the books, so I know exactly what happened in tonight’s episode. I just couldn’t help but laugh at their reactions, especially when the captain ran into the cabin shouting “f**k you George RR Martin!”
After landing, the plane was unloaded quickly and the affected passengers and captain were rushed to a nearby emergency room where they were treated with oxygen, heat blankets, and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Rocky Road Ice Cream.
There is no word yet on their condition.