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Coding LOL's

Caliburn

Well-known member
#1
For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function.

I have solved the mystery.

The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the rest of it is comments.

Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as follows:


Code:
/* HUMAN_DNA.H
*
* Human Genome
* Version 2.1
*
* (C) God
*/
 
/* Revision history:
*
* 0000-00-01 00:00  1.0  Adam.
* 0000-00-02 10:00  1.1  Eve.
* 0000-00-03 02:11  1.2  Added penis code to male version. A bit messy --
*                        will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
* 0017-03-12 03:14  1.3  Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
*                        elephant-dna.c
* 0145-10-03 16:33  1.4  Removed tail.
* 1115-00-31 17:20  1.5  Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
* 2091-08-20 13:56  1.6  Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
* 2501-04-09 14:04  1.7  Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
*                        darker to match my own image.
* 2909-07-12 02:21  1.8  Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth.
*                        Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
* 4501-12-31 14:18  1.9  Increase average height.
* 5533-02-12 17:09  2.0  Added gay option, triggered by high population
*                        density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
* 6004-11-04 16:11  2.1  Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of
*                        CD.
*/
 
/* Standard definitions
*/
 
#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian
 
/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
*
* Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
* inheritance features.
*/
 
#include "mother.h"
#include "father.h"
 
#infndef FATHER
#warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
#include "*******.h"
#endif
 
/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
*/
#include <sex.h>
 
/* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
* library sometime soon.
*/
struct genitals
  {
#ifdef MALE
  Penis *jt;
#endif
  /* G_spot *g;  Removed for debugging purposes */
#ifdef FEMALE
  Vagina *p;
#endif
  }
 
/* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
* Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
*/
DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);
 
/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
*
* Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
* to display at birth.
*
* Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
*/
Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);
===
 
...and so on.
 
 
[ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]