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Coding LOL's

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Caliburn, May 19, 2012.

  1. Caliburn

    Caliburn Well-Known Member

    For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function.

    I have solved the mystery.

    The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the rest of it is comments.

    Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as follows:


    Code:
    /* HUMAN_DNA.H
    *
    * Human Genome
    * Version 2.1
    *
    * (C) God
    */
     
    /* Revision history:
    *
    * 0000-00-01 00:00  1.0  Adam.
    * 0000-00-02 10:00  1.1  Eve.
    * 0000-00-03 02:11  1.2  Added penis code to male version. A bit messy --
    *                        will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
    * 0017-03-12 03:14  1.3  Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
    *                        elephant-dna.c
    * 0145-10-03 16:33  1.4  Removed tail.
    * 1115-00-31 17:20  1.5  Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
    * 2091-08-20 13:56  1.6  Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
    * 2501-04-09 14:04  1.7  Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
    *                        darker to match my own image.
    * 2909-07-12 02:21  1.8  Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth.
    *                        Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
    * 4501-12-31 14:18  1.9  Increase average height.
    * 5533-02-12 17:09  2.0  Added gay option, triggered by high population
    *                        density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
    * 6004-11-04 16:11  2.1  Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of
    *                        CD.
    */
     
    /* Standard definitions
    */
     
    #define SEX male
    #define HEIGHT 1.84
    #define MASS 68
    #define RACE caucasian
     
    /* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
    *
    * Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
    * inheritance features.
    */
     
    #include "mother.h"
    #include "father.h"
     
    #infndef FATHER
    #warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
    #include "*******.h"
    #endif
     
    /* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
    */
    #include <sex.h>
     
    /* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
    * library sometime soon.
    */
    struct genitals
      {
    #ifdef MALE
      Penis *jt;
    #endif
      /* G_spot *g;  Removed for debugging purposes */
    #ifdef FEMALE
      Vagina *p;
    #endif
      }
     
    /* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
    * Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
    */
    DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);
     
    /* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
    *
    * Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
    * to display at birth.
    *
    * Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
    */
    Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);
    ===
     
    ...and so on.
     
     
    [ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]
     

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