Write a Fake News Story! Win a prize!

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Well-known member
So last week I bought Chris Deeming's Xen Media Gallery addon. I did so because I thought it would be the answer I was looking for to help a couple of my users with something they wanted to do. But I was wrong and it was not what I needed. Now, this was my fault, not Chris' so I was not going to ask for a refund. I did, however, ask him if I could remove it from my site (which I've already done) and transfer ownership of it to someone else who wants it but doesn't want to pay for it. He gave his blessing, as long as the other person was willing to log in to his site and we do the trade there. But I can't just GIVE it away...

The contest:
  • Write a fake news headline (a la The Onion).
The Rules:
  • Please keep it clean - this is still a business site.
  • Keep all posts on topic, please. You can comment on these all you want, but let's not argue about stuff or whether or not you like/hate the prize.
  • I will choose the one that I like the most. It's all at my discretion and nobody else's. I paid for the thing so you really can't complain.
  • If a headline gets likes it'll sway my opinion a bit. Maybe a lot.
  • I will choose a winner by Friday of this week.
Example (from a contest I ran on my site):

Dodo Bird Brought Back From Extinction Thanks To Cloning
Strangled back into extinction ten minutes later due to annoying warbling

You get the idea. Go go gadget headlines!
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