If you haven't, I suggest reading them. They're very entertaining. Now, ladies and gentleman, imagine if vB was a character in this diary.
Tuesday: Oh woe is me. The Internet really does dislike me. I feel like painting my tabs in #000000, cutting my strings of php, and then weep my database out. I used to shake my SQL, but now the users won't even send a request to it.
I think you get the point. Feel free to come up with similar lines to express your eternal, deep, passionate, and sometimes erotic love for XenForo. Spread the word, people! A change is coming!