I'm bummed because I totally forgot about this. I remembered now because someone on my forum just asked me how I deal with depression. I figured I would share my answer here if we are going to be talking mental health.
-----
How do you guys deal with depression? It doesnt happen for me very often, but when it does, I spiral down this deep funk that I cant seem to get out of. I have no motivation to do anything and when I make myself do something, I cant even concentrate enough to make it even worth doing. Luckily I have friends that have helped me through the last few days. I dont want to keep bothering them with this crap, and would love to be able to deal with this garbage on my own. My mind is going 100 miles an hour and it wont freaking stop. Super frustrating. There needs to be an on/off button for caring about anything.
Short answer: I don't.
Long answer: I actually do, but here is how:
I just want to start by saying I don't need any sympathy from you guys. This is just a general mental health discussion and a lot of you know my history already and have done so much to help me.
Basically, I have a history of severe depression and anxiety. I have a chemical imbalance. I really can't deal with it on my own, at all. I won't explain where it came from here cause that part would make this get long.
I have been on and off many types of medication and seen many therapists. For me, therapy doesn't do ****. Especially if the therapist is extremely "unrelateable" to you. In the Marine Corps, I've had ones that weight 300 lbs. No, just no. I've had old dying people that have no idea what I'm talking about (sorry, lol). I've had judgmental people. And I've had people with an accent so strong I literally couldn't understand them enough to continue.
There were a few who I liked. I had two young females and I enjoyed those sessions the most. I found that a female is more suited for this than a male (at least within my experiences). And them being young and close to my age is 100% better than them being boomers. They are able to "get it".
Anyway, I don't like therapy.
Medication works, but it can be hard to dial in. In the Marine Corps, I was on two for a while that appeared to be working. But in summer 2018, I intentionally overdosed by taking all of them at once and was in the hospital for four or five days. A lot of the members here probably remember that since I went missing from the forum for a while.
More recently, as of being out of the military, I'm on 3 medications. Been on them for about a year. They seem to be working. You can tell if they are working when you see me on the forum a lot, especially when I keep adding new features. And when I'm not around, I'm having issues.
The reason this RotM contest was posted late was because of a "medical situation" I had. I ran out of one of the meds and by days 5, 6, and 7, I was stuck in my bed with my mind tripping the hell out. My mind was telling me there was a bear guarding the door to my room. I didn't move for about 3 days and I can hardly remember it already. But I went to the ER and got the refill and here I am.
Finding motivation to do anything is so hard. And so is concentrating. In your case, it honestly sounds like Adderall would be a really good drug for you to try to get prescribed to. I used it and it definitely helps with those two things, A LOT. I also abuse caffeine, and while I'm sure my heart hates me, it actually helps my day to day mood and motivation.
The other thing, for me at least, is what the hell is the point of life? I have no desire to grind through a 9-5 job my whole life, doing the same **** everyday, dealing with life's problems on top of that, getting old and boring, and then randomly dying. I'd rather spend every moment making good memories and making some questionable decisions that really don't matter anyway because I'll die eventually. I want to see cool **** while I'm still young. Paige and I are aged 29 and both agree that this is the perfect time to explore the world, especially since we don't have kids.
Not to trigger anyone who strongly believes differently, but I pretty much feel there is no point to life. Other than to try to have fun with what you have and manage the stressful stuff the best you can.
Having a purpose? Well, idk. I joined the military but I wouldn't say my purpose was to serve my country. I wanted to, but that doesn't make it my purpose. Paige and I are all about saving the Earth and the wild animals, and we do what we can to contribute, but I wouldn't say my purpose is to fight climate change. I run this community and help a lot of people learn about their trucks, but being a mentor is not my purpose. My purpose is to just get through life, lol.
Final thought: Being open to talking about my personal experiences like this actually helps me.
