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grey listing?

It never goes through. If they reset it to a gmail one then it's ok. As soon as they set it back to that BT one then it fails.

if they set it to another bt one then it works.

If I send an email from gmail to his BT one then it is ok.

if I ping the domain (mx.bt.lon5.cpcloud.co.uk) from my machine it resolves to the same IP my mail server is whining about so it's not a node-in-the-cloud-died thing (I don't think...)