Well I'm not getting into the vB v's xF debates, sick of reading about it. But I don't think you will regret using XenForo, and as you say things are being added in it new or things improved with each release. But, each to their own what they prefer using. I still like my old MyBB forum LMAO!!
Depends on the post. We don't allow email addresses to be posted, so if someone posts theirs we'll edit it out (<snip>). If it's a personal attack, rude, etc, we move it to a "Moved Posts" section of our forum that's only visible to mods/admins.
We either soft delete if it's an entire post that needs to go or I do allow moderators to edit posts but they must leave a warning in the post saying that they done that.
So the authors of the warned and soft-deleted posts have no way to redeem themselves. Whereas if their posts were hidden from other members under a placeholder but still editable, it would be possible.
moderators cannot edit posts on gV. if they 'warn' (actually, they infract as we dont use the xf warn system) a big red message appears in the post detailing why the infraction was issued. the combination of the unedited post and the red notification makes it pretty clear to all members where the lines are drawn. if it is a serious matter mods can unapprove the post and send it to the moderation queue to be actioned by the administrator.
I wouldn't say that at all, I only ever removed posts if the infringements is very, very serious. A Small edit with a warning is much more preferred for me. We don't attach a giant edit in red writing or something, we add a little note saying we may an edit and that's it. Then we talk to the user in question, if it was a warn able offence then they'll get a warning, if not then they might get a 0 points warning that expiries in 1 day just so we can keep track. We make it very clear to our members what they have to improve on.
Unfortunately editing each offensive post manually or engaging in a lengthy PM exchanges just plain doesn't scale for a forum with ~10k posts per day. Offloading the editing work on the members themselves is the main rationale behind the idea I'm lobbying for.
Does anyone know if it's possible to quote the post that you are warning with something like {quote}, and send it in the conversation? I ask this because if a post is deleted, a link is very relative.