It's actually not uncommon to see blog comments evolve into a discussion between the commenters and not just responses to the main entry.
Your frequency and alert comments are very good. +1
You can do the "release early, release often" thing just in a prototype instance - as being done here. That way, it places no direct burden to users to do repeated upgrade installs. Yet, they still get to experience and discuss the changes prior to continued iterative refinement...
An orderly process of some kind is a must... but it has to be picked to match the people working the project. Super devs may seem like they are getting by just "winging it"... Nope - they are just following their own basic processes learned from experience. AKA - I'm doing what I know works...
Of those mentioned, phpBB was the worst named by far! =) vBulletin was a good name for the time period. XenForo sounds cooler, which will aid its memorability, and our Spanish friends should dig it. ;)